5 Reasons I Don't Pick Up My Crying Baby

I recently read an article titled "Good Mothers Pick Up Their Crying Baby" - and this post is inspired by that article. Even though in the end, that article wasn't even about crying babies and whether or not to pick them up. (It was actually about not being so judgmental of other people and mothers and instead trying to understand their situation).

I don't always pick up my baby boy when he cries. Does this make me a bad mother? Perhaps in some peoples' eyes. But I think I have pretty good reasons not to:

1) Because I'm on the toilet. Or in the shower. Sometimes it is literally impossible to pick up your baby, and instead are forced to resort to saying loudly, "I'll be right there baby!!" as you wipe (or dry off, or spit out the toothpaste, etc).

2) If I'm out grocery shopping by myself, I usually have baby in the stroller and have a small shopping basket in hand. If he starts to cry, I'll try to make him happy while he's still in his seat. I will pick him up if he won't calm back down, but that then means I can no longer push the stroller and continue with my shopping. (I can't push a stroller, hold a baby, and hold a basket all at the same time). Plus, then I'm just stuck in the middle of an aisle, possibly getting in the way of other shoppers. I will have to leave the store eventually. So sometimes that means I have to put my crying baby back into the stroller so that I can either continue shopping or just give up and leave. Regardless, that means he's crying in the stroller and I'm not able to pick him up.

3) Sometimes, you have your little one strapped into the car seat (which is attached to the stroller) and are happily strolling through a [insert store/location/shop/etc name here]. Right towards the end of your excursion, baby starts to cry. When I'm in this situation, I don't want to pick him up because that means unbuckling him from his car seat, and we're only mere minutes from getting back into the car... I don't want to take him out of his seat for a few minutes, only to have to then buckle him back up moments later. Snapping baby into the car seat can be a real fight sometimes! It's easier to just race back to the car with him crying than to deal with those straps.

4) Perhaps this doesn't quite apply, but sometimes I don't "pick up my crying baby" because he's already strapped to me. If I'm wearing him in the Ergo or a wrap and he starts crying... I can't really do much. I'm not exactly going to try to take him out of the darned thing while out in public - usually I'm wearing him because I need my hands (and also because he's normally happier in it!) Also, what am I supposed to do with the carrier once he's out of it? Carry him in one hand, the wrap in another, and diaper bag in my third hand...? So if he cries... all I can do is bounce and sway and try to soothe him until I can get back to the car or house to take him out.

5) Our five-month-old is now getting to the point where he's enjoying time out of our arms. So sometimes he's fussing, and I pick him up, he's still fussing. I'll try walking, rocking, bouncing, swaying, singing, sitting, standing, the whole shebang... and then I put him down to give my arms a break, and guess what?! He stopped crying. This isn't always the case, but there are times when he's sitting there fussing or crying and I know holding him isn't what he wants and therefore won't work.

This is by no means meant to start a debate on whether or not to use the "cry it out" method. It was merely meant to be a somewhat humorous illustration on times I don't pick him up when he's crying. :P

What are some reasons you don't pick up your baby when he cries?

7 Reasons You Can't Sleep When The Baby Sleeps

 

I’m sure all new and expecting parents have been offered the advice to “sleep when the baby sleeps.”  For the first week or two after your baby is born, you may be able to squeeze in a couple naps a day with him. Especially if you are mom – baby may fall asleep after nursing and then you can just snooze right along with him. You’re still recovering, so you can’t do much else anyway. At least, I couldn’t. I was fairly incapable of walking around and doing laundry and cooking and cleaning. (That’s what all that visiting family is for, right?)

However, once your little one is a few weeks old… they start doing more than just eating and sleeping. They start having awake periods and start sleeping less. Plus, at this point, most moms have nearly fully recovered and are capable of doing things around the house. This is the point where I was still tired most the time (who am I kidding… five months in and I’m still exhausted all the time!) and wanted to be able to take lots of naps to catch up on sleep I may have missed during the night, but at the same time, I wanted to be able to do things.

So here’s my list of reasons why that is the worst and most tired advice (pun not intended) that new parents can get.

1)    Sometimes, you have to shower, and baby’s nap is the only chance you get.

2)    At times, they are cranky and fight sleep and won’t let you put them down to get anything done while they’re awake. So once they’re finally asleep, you have a choice: eat, clean, walk the dogs, take a shower, or take a nap. And when it comes down to that, napping is not even an option.

3)    There are times when you can’t sleep because you have things you need to do (see number 2, above) and then there are times when you can’t sleep because you have other things you want to do that you never get a chance to do otherwise. Like read a book, watch a movie, take a bath, or spend some alone time with your partner.

4)    There are occasions when you put your little one down, that by the time you head to your own bed and crawl in and close your eyes… he’s awake. And stays awake for another hour and a half. By the time he falls back asleep, you’ve given up on the idea of catching a few winks.

5)    And, then sometimes you lie down to nap and no matter what you do, you just can. not. fall. asleep. Many parents experience insomnia. 

6)   Though young babies don't have much of a schedule, sometimes you try to schedule your life around their naps. You know they're going to be sleeping soon? Now's the time to head out to get a bite to eat, or get groceries, or go to the mall, cause they'll nap the whole time and you won't have to worry about them crying, or having to feed them or entertain them. 

7)   Babies definitely don't sleep on demand. So sometimes, it means putting them in the stroller and going out for a walk (or in the car and going for a drive) just to get them to fall asleep. You can't exactly fall asleep at the wheel... and at least in my experience, often taking baby out of the car seat or stroller to take them inside and lay them down wakes them up. And at that point they've either been asleep just long enough that now they'll be awake for another hour or two, or they're cranky cause you woke them up and need to be soothed back to dream land. 

And a bonus number 8: Sometimes you use their nap as a photo op. :)

This is by no means the complete list of reasons – just the ones I’ve found over my short five months as a new parent. Do you have any other reasons you can't "sleep when the baby sleeps"?