Things Your Babysitter Wish You Knew

When I started looking for a sitter for our 3-month-old, I was thankful that I had spent a few years as a nanny and babysitter. I knew what it was like to be on their side of the interview and knew what I could realistically expect as far as their abilities went. Then I realized perhaps not every parent was a babysitter at some point in their lives and therefore may not understand what it’s like to be a sitter and watch someone else’s kids for a living. So I went to social media to ask sitters and nannies for things they wished the parents knew.

Here’s some of the best:

·      They are only one person

o   If you and your spouse can’t find the time to watch the baby, make dinner, and clean the house, you shouldn’t expect the sitter to be able to either. “Babysitting” is not code for “cheap housekeeping.” It’s one thing to ask them to move the laundry from the washer to the dryer, but asking them to clean out the garage is a little much! (Yes, that actually happened to one sitter).  

·      You don’t have to pay them the exact amount down to the penny

o   If your sitter is there for 2 hours and 37 minutes and makes $10 an hour, you do not have to give them $26.16. But rounding up to $27 would be preferable to rounding down! (84 cents won’t break you, but it will flatter your sitter!)

·      Let your sitter know what they can and can’t do once the kids are asleep.

o   I always felt uncomfortable just “making myself at home” so usually sat there awkwardly doing nothing. Tell them they can watch tv (and if there’s a parental code, give it to them so they aren’t stuck watching Bubble Guppies all night) or leave a couple of magazines out on the counter for them.

·      Do tell them what your kids can and can’t eat, but don’t expect them to cook a gourmet meal from scratch

o   A friend once had parents leave her a detailed recipe to make a meal from scratch for the kids. Not every sitter can cook well. It’s much easier to leave leftovers for them to warm up or just have them make a quick sandwich.  

·      Sitters appreciate punctuality just as much as you

o   You expect them to show up at 5:00, and they expect you to come home at 9:00. If you’re going to be late – call. It’s no fun sitting in someone else’s house wondering where the parents are and having them show up an hour late. But on the flip side, if you tell them you’ll be home at 10:00, don’t show up an hour early. They may have been planning on making a certain amount of money that night, and losing out on that hour’s pay can really hurt. (So if you are going to come home early, let them know in advance or at least pay them for that time anyway).

·      Be organized and informative

o   Make sure to provide your sitter with your contact info and any emergency numbers as well. And it’s always nice to give them the wifi password so they can use it while the kids are sleeping. Letting them know what any noises or gesture your baby makes mean or what little quirks your child has can be helpful. And please, tell your sitter when your baby had a rough night, or when your little one is suddenly starting to fuss during diaper changes. It’s never nice to get surprises like a baby that screams all day and you don’t know it’s because he’s over-tired.

·      Set your sitter up for success

o   Your sitter wants to succeed – they want your kids to like them just like you want your kids to like them! So don’t give them an exorbitant amount of rules to follow or too many things to accomplish. Don’t set them up to fail by leaving them a list of 50 rules and a long recipe to a meal made from scratch for the kids’ lunch. Just let them relax and have fun with the kids – if they’re stressing out about your too-detailed list and high expectations, they won’t have as much fun with your children (which is the main reason you hired them, right?)

In the end, you hired your babysitter to watch your kids – and to have fun with them. Having them do a thousand other things is going to take away from their time with your munchkins. Just let them do their job and you both will be happier.

Note Feb 04 2016: This post was originally published online at Family Culture Magazine, but it seems to no longer be active. I previously had only a snippet here on my blog, but because the link to the full article was defunct, you can now read the whole thing right here at Prego to Legos!

Choosing a Babysitter: What to look for and questions to ask

What should you look for in a sitter? Well, my husband and I recently began searching for a sitter, though we have no immediate need for one yet. I’m not ready to be away from my 12-week-old boy; I am going to be a stay-at-home mom for a while too. But we will want to have a date night eventually, and I want to have a babysitter selected and available for when we are ready.

When interviewing and hiring a babysitter, you need to start by thinking of what you want in a sitter. Do you want someone that is a parent themselves, or a young college student? Do you want a sitter that will speak only English, or do you want someone that is fluent in another language? Do they need to be CPR and First Aid certified? Does your sitter need to have training in child development or education, or just plenty of experience? Would you like a sitter that will do light housework while the kids nap? Is a clean driving record important?

For us, the most important things in a sitter are experience with young infants, being comfortable with large dogs, and an outgoing nature. Even though our boy is still very young, we want a sitter that will take him out on walks and short outings – he seems to get bored and antsy when he’s inside all day. Behind those three things, we want someone who will continue to do baby sign language with him so it’s consistent, read him lots of books and sing songs. We don’t expect any cleaning or chores to get done – babysitters aren’t magicians, we don’t expect them to be able to accomplish things that two of us can’t do!

Also, think about what an acceptable rate is to you. It really depends on the area you live in – in Southern California where we reside (more specifically, Orange County) – the going rate is about $15 an hour. (The sitters we spoke to charge $17, $15, and $13). A high school or college student will accept a lower rate than someone who has been in the childcare business for many years. Some sitters and nannies may also charge higher rates for additional children, or if you run late coming home, or higher rates for additional services like cooking or cleaning.

There are a lot of good questions to ask sitters when interviewing, but speaking as both an interviewer and past interviewee, some of them are annoying, and some are more insightful than others. Here are (I think) the best questions:

What do you like most about being a babysitter? Obviously, you’re looking for an answer along the lines of  “I love kids,” not “It pays well.”

Do you often touch base with parents? This is important if you want a sitter that will text you updates and photos while you’re gone. (Something I want for at least the first few times away from my boy).

Do you have an example of a time you handled a crisis? Not everyone will have experience with an emergency (I never did have a crisis in my 3 years as a nanny/babysitter) but if they did have an emergency situation, you want to know that they will handle it calmly and take the appropriate steps (call 911, call mom, go to emergency room – whatever the situation dictates) – not a sitter that panics.

How would you describe your personality? Not the most important, but their answer can be very revealing. I like to hear things like, “friendly,” “outgoing,” “honest,” “easygoing,” “energetic,” and so on.

What are some of your hobbies? If you want a sitter that will spend time with your kids outside, you obviously don’t want to hear “reading magazines,” “playing video games,” and “watching tv.”

What do you look for in a family? They’re only just getting to know you, so you hope to hear some things that describe your family!

What are the top 3 characteristics you think are essential in caring for children? You’re going to be looking for things like, “patience,” “caring,” “kindness,” “sympathy,” “compassion,” “creativity,” and the like.

And finally... to search for sitters try Care.com or Sittercity.com (bonus: Sittercity is FREE for military!)

Welcome! An Introductory Statement

Hello! Thanks for stopping by my new blog Prego to Legos!

When the idea finally struck me to begin this blog, I was already in my third trimester. Wish I would've thought of this earlier so that I could write posts about pregnancy a little more chronologically. But my plans for this blog are to have it be about pregnancy, birth, babies, and parenting - the whole spectrum. I'd love to have my husband contribute some posts about the male perspective, but he's not much one for writing.

Let me begin by saying a little bit about myself and my situation. This will be my first baby - aside from our two fur babies on four legs! I'm relatively young, well older than some, but I feel young! That's what counts, right? I'll officially hit my "mid-twenties" a few months after our baby boy is born. My husband is a Marine, and has been deployed for much of my pregnancy and there's even a chance he won't be home in time for the birth. Gotta love the military - so much uncertainty!