Maturity in Motherhood

It seems that after my first baby boy was born, I matured over night. At least, it feels that way. It’s not that I was overly immature prior to his birth, and not that him being born aged me, just that there are ways in which I grew up very rapidly.

I feel like I was always a bit more mature than my peers in many ways: I didn’t drink or party in high school, and rarely in college; I prioritized studying and intellectual growth over other things; I wasn’t glued to my phone when out at social events like my peers were… Yet there were many things I needed to change; ways in which I needed to “grow up.” I tended to be a bit lazy and hardly accomplished any housework, to my husband’s dismay. That laziness was also sometimes reflected in my appearance, especially when I was pregnant and didn’t feel like wearing “real” clothes. I also was not the greatest with sticking to a budget and enjoyed online shopping to a scary extent. 

Since my son was born, I am much less lazy, partly because he is definitely not lazy. He is not content with sitting on the couch for an hour (whereas I could be content there all day). I take a walk every day – sometimes multiple walks – and also attempt to get some type of housework done during his naps (even if it’s just wiping off the counters).

 I care a lot more about what my clothes and appearance say about me now. “Do I look like a competent mother?” “Does my look reflect my knowledge and wisdom about parenting?” “Do I look like I care about myself?” I certainly don’t want to let myself go – not yet! I was never a big fan of the new crop-top trend, but I am definitely not going for it now. I think there’s a certain level of appropriateness that parents should strive for. No bare bellies, sagging pants, exposed undergarments… parents should send a good message to their kids, even at a young age. I also used to be a bit tentative about cutting my hair, though I’d gone as short as chin-length before. But my long hair was getting in  my way and kept finding its way into chubby baby hands (and mouths!) so it had to go. In the end I rationalized that it is “just hair” and will grow back – it’s not something anyone should get terribly attached to. It’s much more manageable now and I can spend much less time with it and more time focusing on my little boy!

While at times I still spend more money that I should, I have definitely cut back. Diapers are expensive enough! I still enjoy making the odd online purchase, but instead of for me, my carts are now mostly full of baby stuff. I love having someone else to shop for, but I also am now better at prioritizing. I would rather have emergency money in savings and start saving up to buy a house than to buy a bunch of toys that he will probably never play with.

Are there ways in which becoming a parent seemingly matured you overnight?

Tips on Flying With a Baby

-->

            Definitely my father’s daughter, I love planning for trips, even ones I may never take. I get into all the details and compile Powerpoint presentations complete with photos, budgets, and even packing lists. (My husband graciously always allows me to plan our vacations and even the more involved day-trips). Now a new mom to a baby boy, I was excited about planning our first trip as a family, though intimidated a bit because it was going to be one of the most intense journeys we’d ever taken. Here are some of the things I learned both from my preparation pre-flight and from my own personal experience.

            Babies come with lots of baggage and you’ll have to accommodate all of that extra stuff when packing. Try to travel as light as possible so as not to incur any additional charges for an extra bag or for excess weight. Plus, your airline may gate check the stroller or car seat (or possibly both) for free. I read up on United’s policy, and it was unclear, so I tweeted the company before our trip to find out if I could have both the stroller and car seat gate checked. (You can!) In addition, United, like many airlines, allows you to have one carry-on bag and one personal item (like a purse or briefcase). However, they allow certain items in excess of your two carry-ons: like a diaper bag. Both of these policies allow parents to avoid having to pay extra fees for all of their little one’s stuff.

I think that I packed the lightest for this trip than I have for any other my entire life, and this was by far the longest one. I managed to get all of my clothes and our baby’s clothes in my suitcase; I just had to put my shoes (only three pairs!) in my husband’s suitcase. Both of those bags were checked, then we each had a diaper bag (his, a backpack) and then I had one carry-on (which I ended up checking on later flights). Fewer bags meant less to pull, which was great considering someone had to push the stroller, and it meant we’d be faster through the security line.    

If you need to bring milk (or juice, water, or baby food) through airport security, read up on the Transportation Security Administration’s policy regarding medically necessary liquids. Normally you are allowed a clear zip-loc bag of 3.1 ounces of liquid, but if you have an infant (or require medicine) you are permitted to bring liquids over that amount, you just have to alert a security officer and take the bottle cooler out of the diaper bag and put it in it’s own tray to go through the x-ray machine.

            Some other things to note when flying with a baby… try to feed your little one during take-off and landing. They can’t chew gum to alleviate ear discomfort, but sucking can help. If you want to be able to use your hands during the flight, either 1) buy a ticket for your infant and put your car seat in it, 2) fly with someone else who is willing to hold them for part of the flight, or 3) bring an infant seat like the FlyeBaby, which is like a hammock that attaches to the seat in front of you and then to your waist for you to set your baby on. Otherwise, be prepared for aching shoulders once you de-plane.

Note Feb 04 2016: This post was originally published online at Family Culture Magazine, but it seems to no longer be active. I previously had only a snippet here on my blog, but because the link to the full article was defunct, you can now read the whole thing right here at Prego to Legos!

Why I Have Three Diaper Bags

Before my son was born, I read lots of tips that suggested having three sets of crib sheets and three changing pad covers. One that would be in use, one that would be in the laundry hamper/washer/dryer, and one that would be in the closet. Well, these are great tips, but do not apply to my three-diaper-bag situation. So why do I have three diaper bags?

Well, I got all of them as gifts (one off my registry and two from different military spouse baby showers) and wasn't really intending to use them all (at least, not all at once). But my mom suggested putting one (stocked with diapers and wipes) in the back of my car in case I ever run out of the house without my fully stocked diaper bag.

Then, just recently, I began using my third one. My main diaper bag is so heavy and really all of that stuff isn't necessary for quick trips (but it's great for all-day outings). So I put the most minimal stuff in that extra bag for shorter trips.

What is in each of my diaper bags:

Getting Baby to Love the Water Part 3: Breasfeeding in the Tub

If you missed parts 1 and 2 of this series, click to read about bathing baby and taking a bath with baby!

Breastfeeding in the Bath

 

Another way to help your baby enjoy the water, is to breastfeed them in the tub (if you're breastfeeding). Baby already loves breastfeeding - it's warm and cozy and mom smells nice (usually. haha). Both mom and baby get a rush of oxytocin (the "love" hormone) when breastfeeding, which means that baby (and mom!) will feel good and be happy during this time. So use this to it's advantage!

Follow the same steps as before, filling the bath partway with warm water. Once you're in, have your partner hand you the baby - please don't try to get in with him! You could slip and the baby or both of you could get hurt. Let baby be partially under the water so that he stays warm.

Then, breastfeed while baby is partially submerged. You can even let their lower half float while they nurse. Then, when they're done, you can let them float and kick around the tub for a few minutes. 

It was a little awkward when I tried it. I wasn't super comfortable - the water level was a bit low, so I had to turn on my side so that Baby G would be in the water. (Just on my back, with him on my stomach/chest, he wasn't in the water at all!) But, he enjoyed it and it was a fairly pleasant experience overall. Besides, it's not about my comfort, but his. I already like baths and swimming! :P

As always, you want to keep their water exposure short and sweet. Try to stretch it out and you could be in for a surprise meltdown!

Next up, Part 4: At the Pool

Reusable, Washable Nursing Pads Comparison

I made the decision before my boy was born to use reusable breast pads. I did buy one pack of disposable ones - by Lasinoh - but I still have some left cause I prefer the washable kind. However, I didn't know which ones to get or how many I would need. So in the last 3 months, I've ended up with 3 different brands and I thought that it could be helpful to others were I to compare them. They are Bamboobies, Breast Pads from BreastPads.com, and TL Care Organic Cotton Nursing Pads.

The two pads on the left are Bamboobies, the watermelon print is Breast Pads, and the bottom right is the Organic Cotton Nursing Pad.

Citrus Lane (Baby Subscription Box) Review

One of the box subscriptions I get is Citrus Lane, which I was signed up for as a gift. It's always full of great toys and products I may not have heard of before! (Which is really saying something!)

My June box came in yesterday and I snapped a few pictures before I tore into it. :)

Hospital Essentials: What to Pack When You're Having a Baby

A friend recently asked for my packing list for going to the hospital (to have a baby). So I decided to make it a little cuter than a plain old list.

I had a crazy long packing list when I was pregnant. I searched tons of blogs and websites for the ultimate list. Since my husband was going to be deployed when I gave birth, I didn't want to forget a single thing!

What I Didn't Need:
But it turned out that I brought a lot of really unneeded things. Of course, everybody is different and has their own preferences... Though I have always loved makeup and playing around with it and getting dolled up, during the last few months of my pregnancy I hardly wore it. So I thought for sure I would do the whole shebang after my boy was born when I was getting ready to come home. False. I was breastfeeding practically every hour, and sleeping a lot. I did a little bit of makeup - tinted chapstick and mascara.

Daily Life With a 2-Month-Old

I promised when I began this blog, that I wouldn't solely write about "what I did all day." But, I thought one post about what a day is like for me with my now 3-month-old boy wouldn't be the worst thing. :P I wish I'd done one when he was 1-month-old so that I could compare and see what the difference is. Because it's hard to notice change when it happens gradually over the course of a month.

So, here's what a standard day is like for me. He only turned 3-months-old the other day, so I'm going to write about what life is like with a 2-month-old since that is what he was up until a couple days ago. haha.

Keep in mind, babies don't have set schedules and aren't exactly predictable. So these are just average times and estimates. Babies this age can start to develop patterns, but it's not set in stone.

Breastfeeding Clothes: Cute ideas for things to wear when you're nursing

Sure, you could wear nursing camis and tanks - I lounge in them all day. But when it's time to head out, you may want to wear something a little spiffier than a cami that unclips at the breast.

Sure, there are lots of brands that sell cute nursing clothes... but many of them charge an arm and leg! And for some reason, when I was pregnant, I had the strange idea that I could only feasibly wear clothes designed for nursing. It never crossed my mind that I could wear "real" clothes until my mom mentioned something. Ha!

Here's a couple of ideas that never occurred to me until I actually began breastfeeding.

I love this Zenana Outfitters shirt I found on Zulily!

1) Button-down shirts. I hate the standard, stiff kind. So professional and uncomfortable - plus it reminds me of when I was a waitress, which I loathed. But, I found a couple soft jersey-knit kind. They are more flattering, I think, and much more comfortable. Then there are shirt that only button half-way, which will work as well.

Simply Vera by Vera Wang from Kohl's. I have this top and it's very silky soft - a cute lace button-up over a camisole. Plus, the tie belt helps give new mamas a waist!

Forever 21's zip top disguises a tummy nicely.

2) Zip-up shirts. This is a new trend going around, and it's handy for breastfeeding. I have a couple from Forever 21 (though I'm too old for most of their stuff, their line Love 21 is a little more grown-up and I've been able to find a couple good pieces. Plus it's cheap). They are blousy and loose with a zipper on the upper half of the front of the shirt.

Surplice top from Body Central

3) V neck tops. A v-neck that's very stretchy, or a shirt with a very deep V-neck, surplice neckline, or wrap/faux wrap top will allow you to pull it down when it's time to feed the baby.

Old Navy cowl-neck top.

4) Loose, stretchy cowl-neck tops. Same as the v-necks, if the neckline is a bit low and loose and stretchy, then you can pull it down for nursing.











5) Of course, you could just wear any old top that allows you to pull it up from the bottom... but then you're exposing your belly (and what new mom wants that?) They do make nursing camisoles designed to go under your top so no one sees your stomach... but then you're just adding layers and it's June in Southern California so I'm already sweltering enough with just one layer.

Advertisement for Undercover Mama - they sell camis that clip onto your bra and are designed for layering.

This Sun & Moon dress from Zulily has a surplice neckline.

6) Most dresses don't work - you can't pull them up (wouldn't that be a sight!?) But, button-up shirt dresses, or dresses that zip in the front will work. So will stretchy v-neck dresses as well as wrap and surplice dresses. I had no dresses that would work prior to my son being born and since I love dresses, had to go out and get a few that would work.

Dana Buchman snakeskin shirt dress from Kohl's.

Old Navy wrap dress with another nice camouflaging pattern.

7) Now regardless of the type of top or dress you get... make sure it is in a darker shade or has a busier print. Those hide milk stains and leaks a lot better than a solid, light-colored shirt.


Places to look...

It's really best to try on the clothes before you buy them (which I hate doing... I love online shopping). But you have to know if you're going to be able to stretch the top down enough for nursing, or if the zipper or button works the way you want, etc.

I don't want to spend a fortune on clothes that are just going to get breast milk on them and spit up allover. So I like TJMaxx - I was able to find a few maxi dresses that work for nursing (I know I said to try things on first... but you can now shop online!). Also, Zulily (another online shop... but the prices are often very good. Plus they do have nursing bras and tanks from time to time, and though they aren't the height of fashion, they are a necessity for a nursing mama). Old Navy and Kohl's have a lot of button-up shirts and cute dresses. Forever21 is inexpensive and has a ton of clothes. Just steer clear of all the crop tops that they have now. Ick. Body Central's clothing is a bit "spicier" - which means lots of low v-necks and surplice tops. Great for breastfeeding!

I'm sure if you are a currently breastfeeding mom, you've already discovered these clothing options. Hopefully though, this will give some good ideas to new moms-to-be and other women who plan to breastfeed in the future! :)