It seems that after my first baby boy was born, I matured
over night. At least, it feels that way. It’s not that I was overly immature
prior to his birth, and not that him being born aged me, just that there are ways in which I grew up very rapidly.
I feel like I was always a bit more mature than my peers in
many ways: I didn’t drink or party in high school, and rarely in college; I
prioritized studying and intellectual growth over other things; I wasn’t glued
to my phone when out at social events like my peers were… Yet there were many
things I needed to change; ways in which I needed to “grow up.” I tended to be
a bit lazy and hardly accomplished any housework, to my husband’s dismay. That
laziness was also sometimes reflected in my appearance, especially when I was
pregnant and didn’t feel like wearing “real” clothes. I also was not the
greatest with sticking to a budget and enjoyed online shopping to a scary
extent.
Since my son was born, I am much less lazy, partly because
he is definitely not lazy. He is not content with sitting on the couch for an
hour (whereas I could be content there all day). I take a walk every day –
sometimes multiple walks – and also attempt to get some type of housework done
during his naps (even if it’s just wiping off the counters).
I care a lot more about what my clothes and appearance say
about me now. “Do I look like a competent mother?” “Does my look reflect my
knowledge and wisdom about parenting?” “Do I look like I care about myself?” I
certainly don’t want to let myself go – not yet! I was never a big fan of the
new crop-top trend, but I am definitely not going for it now. I think there’s a
certain level of appropriateness that parents should strive for. No bare
bellies, sagging pants, exposed undergarments… parents should send a good
message to their kids, even at a young age. I also used to be a bit tentative
about cutting my hair, though I’d gone as short as chin-length before. But my
long hair was getting in my way
and kept finding its way into chubby baby hands (and mouths!) so it had to go.
In the end I rationalized that it is “just hair” and will grow back – it’s not
something anyone should get terribly attached to. It’s much more manageable now
and I can spend much less time with
it and more time focusing on my little boy!
While at times I still spend more money that I should, I
have definitely cut back. Diapers are expensive enough! I still enjoy making
the odd online purchase, but instead of for me, my carts are now mostly full of
baby stuff. I love having someone else to shop for, but I also am now better at
prioritizing. I would rather have emergency money in savings and start saving
up to buy a house than to buy a bunch of toys that he will probably never play
with.
Are there ways in which becoming a parent seemingly matured
you overnight?
