Adieu to some websites... dead and defunct links

It appears that Mommy Hot Spot and Family Culture Magazine are both no longer active. I had a few articles published with each of those, and so only put snippets of those articles here on my blog.
I have updated those posts with the full article now, and here are the links to said articles.
My apologies to anyone who was interested in those posts!

Tips on Flying With a Baby

Drama Queens and Kings

Unique Father's Day Ideas

Why I Call My Baby Names

How Having Dogs Prepared Me For a Baby

Things Your Babysitter Wish You Knew

Sun Safety for Summer Fun

Tips on Flying With a Baby

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            Definitely my father’s daughter, I love planning for trips, even ones I may never take. I get into all the details and compile Powerpoint presentations complete with photos, budgets, and even packing lists. (My husband graciously always allows me to plan our vacations and even the more involved day-trips). Now a new mom to a baby boy, I was excited about planning our first trip as a family, though intimidated a bit because it was going to be one of the most intense journeys we’d ever taken. Here are some of the things I learned both from my preparation pre-flight and from my own personal experience.

            Babies come with lots of baggage and you’ll have to accommodate all of that extra stuff when packing. Try to travel as light as possible so as not to incur any additional charges for an extra bag or for excess weight. Plus, your airline may gate check the stroller or car seat (or possibly both) for free. I read up on United’s policy, and it was unclear, so I tweeted the company before our trip to find out if I could have both the stroller and car seat gate checked. (You can!) In addition, United, like many airlines, allows you to have one carry-on bag and one personal item (like a purse or briefcase). However, they allow certain items in excess of your two carry-ons: like a diaper bag. Both of these policies allow parents to avoid having to pay extra fees for all of their little one’s stuff.

I think that I packed the lightest for this trip than I have for any other my entire life, and this was by far the longest one. I managed to get all of my clothes and our baby’s clothes in my suitcase; I just had to put my shoes (only three pairs!) in my husband’s suitcase. Both of those bags were checked, then we each had a diaper bag (his, a backpack) and then I had one carry-on (which I ended up checking on later flights). Fewer bags meant less to pull, which was great considering someone had to push the stroller, and it meant we’d be faster through the security line.    

If you need to bring milk (or juice, water, or baby food) through airport security, read up on the Transportation Security Administration’s policy regarding medically necessary liquids. Normally you are allowed a clear zip-loc bag of 3.1 ounces of liquid, but if you have an infant (or require medicine) you are permitted to bring liquids over that amount, you just have to alert a security officer and take the bottle cooler out of the diaper bag and put it in it’s own tray to go through the x-ray machine.

            Some other things to note when flying with a baby… try to feed your little one during take-off and landing. They can’t chew gum to alleviate ear discomfort, but sucking can help. If you want to be able to use your hands during the flight, either 1) buy a ticket for your infant and put your car seat in it, 2) fly with someone else who is willing to hold them for part of the flight, or 3) bring an infant seat like the FlyeBaby, which is like a hammock that attaches to the seat in front of you and then to your waist for you to set your baby on. Otherwise, be prepared for aching shoulders once you de-plane.

Note Feb 04 2016: This post was originally published online at Family Culture Magazine, but it seems to no longer be active. I previously had only a snippet here on my blog, but because the link to the full article was defunct, you can now read the whole thing right here at Prego to Legos!

How Having Dogs Prepared Me for a Baby

Couples often get a puppy before having kids as “practice.” Shortly after we got married and moved to California, my husband and I got not one, but two puppies. (They weren’t from the same litter, by the way. We got our first one and then a month later brought home the second one). It really helped curb our baby fever and satisfied my maternal drive.

I thought with all the pain those wonderful dogs put us through, a baby would be a piece of cake. I mean, there’s no way a baby would be chewing chunks out of the counter, scratching massive holes in the wall, eating my leather jacket, or throwing up all over the carpet in the middle of the night. Hopefully, I’m not the only delusional parent who thought that dogs would in any way train me for a baby.

That’s not to say that they didn’t prepare me a little. Here are some of the ways that having dogs helped prep me for having a baby:

1.     Having dogs got me used to handling/seeing/smelling poop. Living in an urban environment, we have to pick up our dogs’ leavings in little baggies, and one of our dogs always seemed to get some stuck in his fur on his backside. So he certainly got me used to having to wipe behinds. 

2.     I became adjusted to having to spend money on living creatures other than myself (and my husband). $40 a month on two dogs is chump change compared to what a baby costs. But at least we kind of eased our toes into the spending pool. Plus, I liked spoiling my dogs with new toys and treats and now I can transfer that desire over to my own flesh and blood (much to my husband’s dismay).

3.     I was never much of a clean freak, but once we got dogs (and two big ones at that), I was kind of forced to vacuum more frequently. In a small apartment, it’s astonishing how quickly the carpet gets saturated with dog hair. A baby doesn’t exactly contribute to all the hair in the carpet or dirt in general (they’re so tiny!), but at least it got us into the habit of cleaning, which helped create a healthier environment for our little boy.

4.     Two dogs produce a lot of noise, and therefore got us used to noise in general. Granted, our dogs bark only on occasion - and usually out of excitement - whereas a baby screams and cries, and aside from hurting your ears, it also breaks your heart! Plus, we trained our dogs to “quiet” on command, and though they don’t always listen, they do sometimes. A baby on the other hand… good luck getting one to just stop crying just because you said so. 

And… here’s how dogs did absolutely nothing to prepare me for a baby:

1.     I thought having to take the dogs outside to go potty and house-training them as puppies would help prepare me for diapers and eventually potty-training. But in reality, dogs, even puppies, go to the bathroom much less frequently than a baby. An 8-week-old puppy can go at least one hour between potty breaks (and adult dogs can hold 8 to 12 hours on occasion!) so I was taken aback when I changed my 8-week-old boy’s diaper four times in a 15-minute span.

2.     Dogs, from a very young age, are able to walk on their own. You don’t have to hold them all the time, and if you have to go to the bathroom, you don’t need to worry about what to do with them because there’s pretty much no chance that a dog will accidentally roll off of the couch.

3.     Though not as self-sufficient as cats, dogs are still more independent than a human baby. If you leave the house, just leave a bowl of water for them and they’ll be fine. If you leave the house once you have a baby, you kind of have to take them with you (or get a sitter). A baby is 100% reliant on you, and if you are breastfeeding, then they’re also pretty much attached to you all the time.

4.     Dogs don’t need help going to sleep - even young puppies fall asleep on their own. Babies, on the other hand, as I’m sure any parent will tell you, often will not go to sleep unless you hold them/rock them/swaddle them/feed them/sing to them/shush them/walk them/drive them around in the car/etc.

Well, that’s my list. How did dogs prepare you for a baby? (Or, how did they not prepare you?)

Note Feb 04 2016: This post was originally published online at Family Culture Magazine, but it seems to no longer be active. I previously had only a snippet here on my blog, but because the link to the full article was defunct, you can now read the whole thing right here at Prego to Legos!

Things Your Babysitter Wish You Knew

When I started looking for a sitter for our 3-month-old, I was thankful that I had spent a few years as a nanny and babysitter. I knew what it was like to be on their side of the interview and knew what I could realistically expect as far as their abilities went. Then I realized perhaps not every parent was a babysitter at some point in their lives and therefore may not understand what it’s like to be a sitter and watch someone else’s kids for a living. So I went to social media to ask sitters and nannies for things they wished the parents knew.

Here’s some of the best:

·      They are only one person

o   If you and your spouse can’t find the time to watch the baby, make dinner, and clean the house, you shouldn’t expect the sitter to be able to either. “Babysitting” is not code for “cheap housekeeping.” It’s one thing to ask them to move the laundry from the washer to the dryer, but asking them to clean out the garage is a little much! (Yes, that actually happened to one sitter).  

·      You don’t have to pay them the exact amount down to the penny

o   If your sitter is there for 2 hours and 37 minutes and makes $10 an hour, you do not have to give them $26.16. But rounding up to $27 would be preferable to rounding down! (84 cents won’t break you, but it will flatter your sitter!)

·      Let your sitter know what they can and can’t do once the kids are asleep.

o   I always felt uncomfortable just “making myself at home” so usually sat there awkwardly doing nothing. Tell them they can watch tv (and if there’s a parental code, give it to them so they aren’t stuck watching Bubble Guppies all night) or leave a couple of magazines out on the counter for them.

·      Do tell them what your kids can and can’t eat, but don’t expect them to cook a gourmet meal from scratch

o   A friend once had parents leave her a detailed recipe to make a meal from scratch for the kids. Not every sitter can cook well. It’s much easier to leave leftovers for them to warm up or just have them make a quick sandwich.  

·      Sitters appreciate punctuality just as much as you

o   You expect them to show up at 5:00, and they expect you to come home at 9:00. If you’re going to be late – call. It’s no fun sitting in someone else’s house wondering where the parents are and having them show up an hour late. But on the flip side, if you tell them you’ll be home at 10:00, don’t show up an hour early. They may have been planning on making a certain amount of money that night, and losing out on that hour’s pay can really hurt. (So if you are going to come home early, let them know in advance or at least pay them for that time anyway).

·      Be organized and informative

o   Make sure to provide your sitter with your contact info and any emergency numbers as well. And it’s always nice to give them the wifi password so they can use it while the kids are sleeping. Letting them know what any noises or gesture your baby makes mean or what little quirks your child has can be helpful. And please, tell your sitter when your baby had a rough night, or when your little one is suddenly starting to fuss during diaper changes. It’s never nice to get surprises like a baby that screams all day and you don’t know it’s because he’s over-tired.

·      Set your sitter up for success

o   Your sitter wants to succeed – they want your kids to like them just like you want your kids to like them! So don’t give them an exorbitant amount of rules to follow or too many things to accomplish. Don’t set them up to fail by leaving them a list of 50 rules and a long recipe to a meal made from scratch for the kids’ lunch. Just let them relax and have fun with the kids – if they’re stressing out about your too-detailed list and high expectations, they won’t have as much fun with your children (which is the main reason you hired them, right?)

In the end, you hired your babysitter to watch your kids – and to have fun with them. Having them do a thousand other things is going to take away from their time with your munchkins. Just let them do their job and you both will be happier.

Note Feb 04 2016: This post was originally published online at Family Culture Magazine, but it seems to no longer be active. I previously had only a snippet here on my blog, but because the link to the full article was defunct, you can now read the whole thing right here at Prego to Legos!

Why I Call My Baby Names

No one likes a screaming baby. Of course, I love my son. But no matter how much you may love your little one, their screaming and crying will be frustrating and stressful. I’ve had my fair share of tears (my own) because of a baby that would not stop crying. Caring for a fussy baby is challenging and nothing like I ever expected. The first few months are the hardest (especially if you’re baby has colic, which usually goes away after 3 months). Dealing with an upset baby can leave you physically and emotionally exhausted and make you isolate yourself from the outside world. From day one though, I found something that works (most of the time) to calm myself down and make dealing with my boy when he’s upset a little easier. I call him names.

When he’s fussing, I refer to him as “Mr. Fussy,” “Grumpy boy,” “Fussy Britches,” or “Fussy Pants.” (What did you think I meant??) I think it’s important to maintain a sense of humor as a parent, even (especially!) in situations that really test you. It’s easy to become angry and resentful because of the crying – especially when you’re sleep deprived. Calling my 3-month-old lighthearted, humorous names helps me not become too serious and stressed out when he’s reaching pitches I previously thought could only be heard by dogs.

It’s not as if the little guy is fussing just to grate my nerves. Babies are not vindictive or manipulative. (Manipulation doesn’t really come into play until they’re 2 or 3 years old!) So it’s hard to stay mad at him, especially if I’m goofing around and poking a little fun at him. This isn’t to say that I’m completely unfazed by his screaming. On the contrary, just like any sane adult, the screaming still stresses me out. It’s meant to. We are programmed to respond to a baby crying, and biology decided that we would best care for a baby and calm them down if their fussing raised our blood pressure.

Also, keeping a sense of humor in situations like that mean that I don’t look as stressed out. Once a baby reaches 6-8 weeks of age, they’ll be able to clearly see your face from about a foot away. They’ll start responding to your facial expressions and feeding off of your mood and behavior. It’s hard to calm down when the person you’re staring at looks just as upset as you! So, when my boy is doing his worst, I put on my happiest face and coo, “Who’s my fussy boy? You’re such a Mr. Grumpy Gills!”

Please note though, that if you find yourself becoming angry and stressed to the max, it is okay to put your baby down for a few minutes and walk away to take a breather. I promise, he’ll be fine (he may even surprise you and calm himself down!). You never want to put yourself in a situation where you may do something you’ll later regret. If you find yourself fearing you may cause your baby harm, please get help. Walk away, get your partner, or call someone to talk. 

Note Feb 04 2016: This post was originally published online at Family Culture Magazine, but it seems to no longer be active. I previously had only a snippet here on my blog, but because the link to the full article was defunct, you can now read the whole thing right here at Prego to Legos!

Drama Queens and Kings

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I was involved in theater and acting from a very young age and even pursued it as a career before my son was born. It is my belief that theater is one of the best things a child can get involved in, and I am not the only one that thinks so! There are many benefits to being involved in theater, from confidence building, to better posture, to improved academic performance and more.

Me and a cast mate as Desdemona and Iago in Goodnight Desdemona, Goodmorning Juliet.

 2005

Theater helps children to be more creative and stimulates their imagination. “Pretend play” is one of the best forms of play a child can participate in, even at home, but becoming actively involved in drama expands on it. Children learn public speaking skills and confidence. Corey Latta, a Teaching Artist at Adventure Theater Musical Theater Center in Maryland says, "One of my favorite parts of being a theater educator, is watching how much each child transforms during their time in a class or production! There is something about the collaborative nature of theater classes that really helps kids come out of their shells, use their creativity, and take ownership over something they have created.”

Acting helps children learn to empathize and read body language. As an actor, if only for a moment, you can experience what it’s like to be someone else. Actors also learn how to hold their own bodies; acting creates wonderful body awareness. When you are required to portray a sprightly child, an elderly person, and a fairy, you learn how to use your body in different ways and become more in tune with it. Actors also tend to have wonderful posture; in order for your words to reach the very last row, you have to know how to stand to facilitate good projection.

Children learn to work as a team in theater. It is never a singular effort; most plays are not a one-man show. When learning to act, you also learn to share your thoughts and ideas as well as give and take constructive criticism and feedback. Actors also have to learn how to handle rejection - you won’t always get the part you want. As I learned as a child, even if you get the lead one year, it doesn’t guarantee you will get it the next year. Disappointment doesn’t really get easier, but you do learn to handle it better.

As if all of that wasn’t enough, acting and theater involvement can also boost academic performance and reading skills. Studies show that children that participate in dramatic activities show significantly higher scores on Reading Comprehension Tests. Consistent participation in drama greatly improves academic performance and significantly bumps up standardized test scores. When involved in theater, you have to read and re-read scripts. (I can’t even count the number of plays I have read in this lifetime). Student actors are also more involved in community service, and less likely to drop out of school.

The best benefit, however, is that it is thrilling and fun. Your kids may not notice all of the skills acting is giving them, they will just enjoy it and want to do even more. As Ms. Latta says, “Take a chance on the arts, and come play!"

Note Feb 04 2016: This post was originally published online at Family Culture Magazine, but it seems to no longer be active. I previously had only a snippet here on my blog, but because the link to the full article was defunct, you can now read the whole thing right here at Prego to Legos!